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Wilderness Lost
For Bramble, my cat
I
She was the wilderness in me
The secret solitary place
Where grow the healing herbs.
We had recognized each other
Years ago; the bond was deep.
Now since her death-
Two seasons ago-
The landscape is ghostly.
No small black and gold panther
Steals through the long grasses
And pounces on a mouse.
No one curls up on the terrace wall
Gathering the day together.
No round shadow sits on my sill
Late at night, waiting to be let in.
And then in one jump comes to lie beside me,
A long pillow of purrs along my back.
u
Distant, passionate one
I miss you in my bones.
I miss you like my heartbeat.
I have mourned you for nine months.
What does not leave me
Is your great luminous eye
Open to its golden rim,
The darkness so dark, the deepness so deep there
I wanted to go with you to death
But in a few seconds
The needle did its good work.
You had gone-
And in a new time
I grow old without you.
It is all very still now,
The grief washed out.
CHRISTMAS LIGHT
When everyone had gone
I sat in the library
With the small silent tree,
She and I alone.
How softly she shone!
And for the first time then
For the first time this year
I felt newborn again,
I knew love's presence near.
Love distant, love detached
And strangely without weight
Was with me in the night
When everyone had gone
And the garland of pure light
Stayed on, stayed on.