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How to Amuse a Stone
command the stones in a loud voice or speak to them just to the left of silence or sing them a love song in Spanish they will not respond write a letter in it confess all your sins place it under a stone leave it there for months and when you return you will find your letter unopened and unread stones have a sense of dignity greater than that of kings a sense of honor stronger than that of friends stones are fulfilled like prophecy tendentious as rain and have a sense of humor more subtle than we can comprehend it takes a long time to amuse a stone first you must capture one carry it away imprison it with mortar in a wall the stone will not complain then you must wait and years after you are gone under another stone on which some stranger carved your name the mortar in your wall will crumble and the stone you captured will fall to the ground amused and free and going home