What Ails You

"Germs" used to take the fall, but latterly

we blame our food first, turning next

to the Relaxation Response.

Cause, effect, who knows? Something's amiss:

a tearing ache in the intercostal

connections, a nagging

tugging at the thigh, a searing

implosion at play in the lower

intestine . . . . Last Tuesday

I located a thickening in the soles of my feet.

My eyes grow dim. My hearing's inconstant.

No explanation suffices, certainly not

the ingenuities of my medical record

and its referrals, which keep chasing

ills without nabbing them.

We have somehow failed

in the mighty task of wellness. No doubt

we're all lax about diet, overlook

exercise, and persist in deplorably

judgmental attitudes, but

let's face facts:

If you have awakened today

and you're over sixty

and you don't hurt anywhere

you must be dead.