Not Finding Tranquility by the Lake

The aggression of bird yells travelling through cold.

The lake slowly flinging itself on the rocks.

The curve of mountains slicing sky.

The distant roar of a train.

This is what I have been given

For today, for this morning.

The scream of a child

Whose throat is raw from screaming.

The bluish yellow of a bruise.

The chill of unwanted hands.

The hangover's dirty gauze.

This is what my mind can give me,

Even today, even this morning

When the sun begins to make itself known.

I peer deep into the lake.

Dark bloated shapes wait on the muddy bottom.

My coat grows clammy as seaweed.

I am naked underneath it, a woman

Used to coverings, a woman

Who has never really seen herself.

I have held the coat so long,

My fingers locked.

The birds are silent now.

A boat burps and sputters past,

Breaking the lake's slick calm.

Beside me a robin tries to tug

A worm from the ground,

Hopping and straining against the pull of earth.

I stretch slowly

Under a sun that gives light but no warmth.