Zoo Prepares to Adopt Metric System
Obvious Steps:
First off, the lions will have to be exchanged
for metric lions.
This will be a major expense,
but there is no alternative.
Also, distances between cage bars
must be adjusted zoo-wide.
Fear of Special Hardship:
It is incontrovertible the coyotes
will suffer in the changeover,
as there is no naturally metric coyote.
They may all have to be replaced
with African dingoes.
Unpleasant Contingency:
The sea otters face extinction
if we continue unable to locate a supply
of metric clams.
Bright Note:
The porcupines indicate complete willingness
to bring their quills into conformity
with the new standards well before the deadline.
For Immediate Action:
Ground Squirrel requests an extension
stating he cannot sleep his requisite seven months
if obliged to convert at once
to metric from his Babylonian scale.
He accepts the necessity of four months
inconvenience and uneasy sleep this year.
We believe that, with counselling,
the benefits of metric dreaming
will become apparent by his second
metric hibernation. Application granted.
Structure
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