Poker-Face

T am dealt out as it were a pack of cards;

I deal myself out, willy-nilly, while the coins

At my elbow tower and tremble or suddenly decrease.

I am distracted by radio, or by visitors, or children

Sliding down the roofs of houses, or by dogs

Barking in the streets and breaking gardens.

And I become nervous, watching the faces of my friends,

Watching the clock and the woman who will come

With coffee - cups, spoons tinkling, and noisy jokes.

There is a restlessness in the room.

There are children on the roof and yellow dogs

Are dying under the wheels of ambulances and motorcars.

But I lay myself out carefully on the table, with calmness,

The little paper corpses colored and numbered

Meaningful to fortune-tellers and to my friends .. .

Then the terrible colorings of the cards appear to me

Like the shock of water descending in a straight stream

To thud upon my neck and my shoulders, upon my head,

Closing my eyes with thick wet fingers, with force:

And I stand up blindly, surrounded by strangers

Who call my name and my number repeatedly. I reel

Towards doors, towards windows and fireplaces,

Pushed by children and the warm noses of dogs;

The cards fly up, ceilingwards, like large confetti,

And fall floating, flapping ridiculously on my face and hands.

With humility I grope upon the floor,

I gather them together again, touching their torn edges,

And I take my place at the table quietly -

Then with a matchstick between my teeth,

I deal myself out again, willy-nilly . ..