John Berryman(1914–1972)

Sonnet 145

A l s o I l o v e h i m : m e h e ' s d o n e n o w r o n g

f o r g o i n g o n f o r t y y e a r s — f o r g i v e n e s s t i m e —

I t o u c h n o w h i s d e s p a i r ,

h e f e l t a s b a d a s W h i t m a n 2 o n h i s t o w e r

but he did not swim out with me or my brother

as he threatened—

a powerful swimmer, to take one of us along

as company in the defeat sublime,

f r e e z i n g m y h e l p l e s s m o t h e r :

he only, very early in the morning,

rose with his gun and went outdoors by my window

and did what was needed.

I c a n n o t r e a d t h a t w r e t c h e d m i n d , s o s t r o n g

& so undone. I've always tried. I—I'm

trying to forgive

whose frantic passage, when he could not live

an instant longer, in the summer dawn

l e f t H e n r y t o l i v e o n .