Jay Macpherson(b. 1931)
A Lost Soul
S o m e are plain lucky—we ourselves a m o n g them:
H o u s e s with books, with gardens, all we wanted,
Work we enjoy, with colleagues we feel close t o —
Love we have, even:
True love and candid, faithful, strong as gospel,
Patient, untiring, fond w h e n we are fretful.
Having so m u c h , h o w is it that we ache for
Those darker others
S o m e days for t h e m we could let slip the whole damn
Soft bed we've made ourselves, our friends in Heaven
Let slip away, buy back with blood our ancient
Vampires and demons.
First loves and oldest, what names shall I call you
Older to me than language, old as breathing,
Born with me, in this flesh: by n o w I know you're
Greed, pride and envy.
Too long Fve shut you out, denied acquaintance,
Favoured less barefaced vices, hoped to pass for
Reasonable, rate with those w h o more inclined to
Self-hurt than murder.
You were my soul: in arrogance I banned you.
N o w I recant—return, possess me, take my
Hands, bind my eyes, infallibly restore my
Share in perdition.
GEFFREY HILL
b. 1932