Jonathan Swift(1667–1745)

A Description of a City Shower

C a r e f u l o b s e r v e r s m a y foretell t h e h o u r

(By sure p r o g n o s t i c s ) w h e n to dread a s h o w e r :

While rain depends, 0 the pensive cat gives o'erimpends

Her frolics, and pursues her tail no more.

Returning home at night, you'll find the sink 0

Strike your offended sense with double stink.

I f y o u b e w i s e , t h e n g o n o t far t o d i n e ;

You'll s p e n d i n c o a c h hire m o r e t h a n save i n w i n e .

A coming shower your shooting corns presage,

Old aches throb, your hollow tooth will rage.

Sauntering in coffeehouse is Dulman 0 seen;dull man

He damns the climate and complains of spleen.melancholy

Meanwhile the South, 0 rising with dabbled 0 wings, a wind I spattered

A sable cloud athwart the welkin 0 flings,sky

That swilled more liquor than it could contain,

And, like a drunkard, gives it up again.

Brisk S u s a n w h i p s h e r l i n e n f r o m t h e rope,

While the first drizzling shower is borne aslope: 0slanting

Such is that sprinkling which some careless quean 0wench

Flirts 0 on you from her mop, but not so clean:flicks

You fly, invoke the gods; then turning, stop

T o rail; s h e singing, still whirls o n h e r m o p .

Not yet the dust had shunned the unequal strife,

But, aided by the wind, fought still for life,

A n d w a f t e d w i t h its f o e by v i o l e n t gust,

'Twas d o u b t f u l w h i c h w a s rain a n d w h i c h w a s dust.

Ah! w h e r e m u s t n e e d y p o e t s e e k for aid,

W h e n d u s t a n d rain a t o n c e h i s c o a t invade

S o l e c o a t , w h e r e d u s t c e m e n t e d b y t h e rain

E r e c t s t h e n a p , 8 a n d leaves a m i n g l e d stain.

Now in contiguous drops the flood comes down,

Threatening with deluge this devoted 0 town.doomed

To shops in crowds the daggled 0 females fly,mud-spattered

Pretend to cheapen 0 goods, but nothing buy.bargain for

The Templar spruce, 9 while every spout's abroach, 0running

Stays till 'tis fair, yet seems to call a coach.

The tucked-up sempstress 0 walks with hasty strides,seamstress

While streams run down her oiled umbrella's sides.

H e r e various kinds, b y various f o r t u n e s led,

C o m m e n c e a c q u a i n t a n c e u n d e r n e a t h a s h e d .

T r i u m p h a n t T o r i e s a n d d e s p o n d i n g W h i g s 1

Forget their f e u d s , a n d j o i n to save their wigs.

Boxed in a chair 0 the beau impatient sits,sedan chair

While spouts run clattering o'er the roof by fits,

And ever and anon with frightful din

T h e leather2 s o u n d s ; h e t r e m b l e s f r o m w i t h i n .

S o w h e n Troy c h a i r m e n bore t h e w o o d e n s t e e d ,

Pregnant with Greeks impatient to be freed

(Those bully Greeks, who, as the moderns do,

Instead of paying chairmen, run them through),

Laocoon struck the outside with his spear,

And each imprisoned hero quaked for fear.

Now from all parts the swelling kennels 0 flow,gutters

And bear their trophies with them as they go:

Filth of all hues and odors seem to tell

W h a t street t h e y sailed f r o m , b y their sight a n d s m e l l .

T h e y , as e a c h torrent drives w i t h rapid f o r c e ,

From Smithfield or St. Pulchre's shape their course,

And in huge confluence joined at Snow Hill ridge,

Fall from the conduit prone 0 to Holborn Bridge. 4downward

Sweepings from butchers' stalls, dung, guts, and blood,

Drowned puppies, stinking sprats, 0 all drenched in mud,f herring

Dead cats, and turnip tops, come tumbling down the flood. J