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Nightmare Begins Responsibility

I place these numbed wrists to the pane

watching white uniforms whisk over

him in the tube-kept

prison

fear what they will do in experiment

watch my gloved stickshifting gasolined hands

breathe boxcar-information-please infirmary tubes

distrusting white-pink mending paperthin

silkened end hairs, distrusting tubes

shrunk in his trunk-skincapped

shaven head, in thighs

distrusting-white-hands-picking-baboon-light

on his son who will not make his second night

of this wardstrewn intensive airpocket

where his father's asthmatic

hymns of night-train, train done gone

his mother can only know that he has flown

up into essential calm unseen corridor

going boxscarred home, mamaborn, sweetsonchild

gonedowntown into researchtestingwarehousebatteryacid

mama-son-done-gone/me telling her 'nother

train tonight, no music, no breathstroked

heartbeat in my infinite distrust of them:

and of my distrusting self

white-doctor-who-breathed-for-him-all-night

say it for two sons gone,

say nightmare, say it loud

panebreaking heartmadness:

nightmare begins responsibility.

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