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Poker-Face
T am dealt out as it were a pack of cards; I deal myself out, willy-nilly, while the coins At my elbow tower and tremble or suddenly decrease. I am distracted by radio, or by visitors, or children Sliding down the roofs of houses, or by dogs Barking in the streets and breaking gardens. And I become nervous, watching the faces of my friends, Watching the clock and the woman who will come With coffee - cups, spoons tinkling, and noisy jokes. There is a restlessness in the room. There are children on the roof and yellow dogs Are dying under the wheels of ambulances and motorcars. But I lay myself out carefully on the table, with calmness, The little paper corpses colored and numbered Meaningful to fortune-tellers and to my friends .. . Then the terrible colorings of the cards appear to me Like the shock of water descending in a straight stream To thud upon my neck and my shoulders, upon my head, Closing my eyes with thick wet fingers, with force: And I stand up blindly, surrounded by strangers Who call my name and my number repeatedly. I reel Towards doors, towards windows and fireplaces, Pushed by children and the warm noses of dogs; The cards fly up, ceilingwards, like large confetti, And fall floating, flapping ridiculously on my face and hands. With humility I grope upon the floor, I gather them together again, touching their torn edges, And I take my place at the table quietly - Then with a matchstick between my teeth, I deal myself out again, willy-nilly . ..